Inseparable
by Doc Scratch
Summary: Sequel to Separation. Good Idea: Taking a break from caring for three astoundingly intelligent and incredibly bothersome boys. Bad Idea: Inflicting them upon an innocent, unprepared summer camp in the process. Mello/Near! On hiatus indefinitely.
1. Camp Sunshine

A/N: AND FINALLY, HERE IT IS! THE LONG-AWAITED, MUCH ANTICIPATED SEQUEL TO SEPARATION! Aren't you all just thrilled? Not with me, of course, since my lazy ass took so long to start this but... Well, you get the picture, right? Please enjoy! And review please! Don't forget them reviews!

Summary: Sequel to Separation. Good Idea: Taking a break from caring for three astoundingly intelligent and incredibly bothersome boys. Bad Idea: Inflicting them upon an innocent, unprepared summer camp in the process. Mello/Near!

Disclaimer: I don't own Deathnote.

Chapter 1: Camp Sunshine

It was unbelievable. It was unfathomable. It was unbearable.

It was just plain unpleasant, was what it was.

"You have got to be kidding me." Mello stated. Near couldn't help but empathise with this expression. Matt wasn't too ecstatic about the situation either.

"Boys, you're looking at it all wrong. It's not a punishment, I assure you, this will be nothing like the Behavioral Correction Camp. This is a regular, recreational facility that-"

"We get it. You're sending us to summer camp." Matt sighed.

"Look, if you want a break why don't you just hire a few more nurses and take a vacation?" Mello asked incredulously.

"It is not a break from the orphanage that I require, but a respite from your antics." Roger replied, giving up the whole 'this is actually a fun present for you' facade. "Now, I have looked the other way... far, _far_ the other way, from you and Near. If you don't want me to take action against your... well, you know, then you will allow me this time with the three of you gone."

"So why must Matt be sent away as well?" Near spoke up.

"Because to be honest I don't trust that Behavioral Camp anymore, and after that stunt with the younger children, the lighting system, and the refrigerator I want him gone for at least two weeks." Roger said. Matt scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Yeah, ok, maybe that wasn't the best idea ever..." The redhead shifted self-consciously.

"Indeed." Roger agreed flatly. "Now, I would suggest you three go and pack whatever clothing and other items you may wish to take with you. The bus will be arriving first thing tomorrow morning to take you to Camp Sunshine."

"Camp _Sunshine_?" Mello's stare of horror was, for once, echoed on the faces of the two other boys. Roger looked vaguely worried.

"What? I thought it was a nice name..." He blinked confusedly. Mello pressed a hand tightly to his forehead and, with a deep sigh of exasperation, walked out of the room.

* * *

The bus was a nightmare. At least for Brat Camp there had been one, maybe two other people on the whole bus and they had been going to different places. Not so for summer camp. The bus was packed with smelly, sticky, loud children. There were shouts and screams and unpleasant aromas, there was boisterous laughter and objects soaring through the air. And it was hot. The air conditioning was no match for the oppressive July warmth when it allied itself with the body heat of thirty-something hyperactive kids.

Near was curled in on himself tightly, trying to touch as little of the surrounding area as possible. Mello was seated next to the window, glaring at anyone and anything that came too close to himself or Near. Matt was across the aisle next to an acne-pocked loudmouth called "MY NAME IS JORDIE!" or so he had hollered into Matt's ear in an overcompensating effort to be heard over the rest of the noise in the vehicle. The gamer was also having some pretty bad flashbacks to his kindergarten bus days, before his parents had accidentally driven off an icy roadside cliff one dark night.

The bus' driver looked utterly defeated. Tired, worn, and probably wearing ear plugs.

MY NAME IS JORDIE kept trying to convince Matt to let him play with the redhead's PSP. Matt was about two inches and another flashback away from fixing MY NAME IS JORDIE's overbite with his fist.

It was not a good trip. No, no it was not.

All three of the orphans were extremely grateful when the bus reached it's destination and they were able to disembark. The first one off the bus was, surprisingly, Near. Neither Matt nor Mello could recall the small albino having ever moved quite that quickly before. The blonde was a close second, with Matt bringing up the rear, and then they all had to dive aside to avoid the stampede of the other children.

"This does not look promising." Near commented drily, twirling a white curl. A large white banner was strung between two posts, it was covered in vivid, multi-colored letters spelling out 'WELCOME CAMPERS!!' as well as several smiley faces, handprints, and a couple of hearts. Mello shuddered. Beyond the... er... _vibrant_ welcoming sign were several cookie cutter cabins numbered 1-9. They also had little smiley faces, handprints, and hearts all over their signs. The horde of boisterous children had not settled down upon leaving the bus, but rather their lack of self-control had escalated, and Matt was reasonably confident that they'd be breaking the sound barrier in a few minutes if someone didn't run interference.

"Ten bucks says Mello has five kids crying before curfew." Matt challenged. Near considered this.

"Done."

"I should probably be offended..." Mello grinned, "but I'm just not."

"HELLO CAMPERS!!" An overly cheerful voice bellowed. A bubbly woman far past the age that 'bubbly' should be used to describe her without alchohol involved somewhere stepped onto a podium to one side of the welcome banner. "I'm your Head Counselor, Ms. Shelley!! Are you all ready to have some F-U-N!?" She beamed.

"YEEEEESSSS!!" Screamed the majority of the children. Matt, Mello, and Near were, of course, not included in the returned scream. Somehow, possibly through a radar system developed by disturbed over-aged camp counselors, Ms. Shelley noticed this.

"Ohhhh, I see we have some grumpy-gus' with us today! Come on boys, why so glummmm?" Her huge smile didn't fade in the slightest. It seemed that over time, her face had simply stuck that way.

"...That's it. I'm leaving." Mello stated. He turned back to the bus, meaning to re-enter it using whatever means necessary, but as though sensing his intention the bus abruptly closed it's doors and sped off. "..._Damnit_."

"Uh oh, sorry son, but language like that isn't allowed here at Camp Sunshine. If you don't want to earn any naughty points, you'd better clean up that mouth of yours!" Ms. Shelley wagged a finger at him. Mello's left eye twitched once. Matt immediately took several steps back. Near sighed and looked up at the sky, as though beseeching someone to just strike him with a lightning bolt and end it already. "Now kiddies, over to your rights you'll find a table with all our camp counselors seated at it. Please start a line in front of each of them and they'll tell you which cabin you're in!! Hurry up, we want to have time for some games before the sun goes doooown!"

There was another mini-stampede, consisting of much pushing, pulling, and screeching as the children all fought their way into lines... if they could be called such. Safe in their places at the back of the mess, the three orphans examined their new surroundings with an impending sense of doom.

"So, when we get back I am going to kill Roger in a painful and humiliating way." Mello announced. "Any objections?" Near and Matt remained silent.

TBC...

A/N: So, there you have it. The first 'intro' chapter. Uh... yeah. Please drop a review in the little box!

...Ms. Shelley scares me... D8


	2. Not Quite What You Expected

A/N: And now, after much procrastination on my part, I give you, my stalwart readers... CHAPTER 2!! Woooo!! I would like to thank all of you for reviewing, I really enjoyed reading all your reactions and opinions, and you guys really made this sequel worthwhile for me. I apologize for taking so long to update, I'll try to be quicker about it in the future. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I still don't own Deathnote. ...Oh wait! -Checks- ...Nope, no, still don't.

Chapter 2: Not Quite What You Were Expecting...

"So, Mello, isn't it?" Ms. Shelley asked brightly.

"No, it's the pope." Mello pushed back, balancing his chair on two legs.

"Right... Well, Mello, we have a bit of a problem now, don't we?" Ms. Shelley asked with an overly dramatic pout. Mello ignored her. "You see, Mello, here at Camp Sunshine, everyone is supposed to be happy, and having a good time! And I really don't think that counselor who's ear you stapled to the table was happy, do you?"

"Really? You don't think so?" Mello raised an eyebrow sarcastically. "Wow, and here I thought he was having the time of his life." Ms. Shelley shook her head violently, a smile on her face.

"Noooo, Mello. Those were screams of pain. And pain is bad." She said carefully. Mello stared.

"Are you serious?" He asked bluntly. She blinked, as though confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I stapled a guy's ear to a table." Mello pointed out. Ms. Shelly nodded encouragingly.

"Yes, that's what I'm saying, you shouldn't do that Mello." She smiled. "That is a no-no. Now, if you can promise me you won't do that again, we can forget allllll about this little baby mistake, and you can go to your cabin! How does that sound to you?"

"Like you're on drugs." Mello said.

"Awwww, are you homesick Mello?" The pout was back.

"Shockingly, yes." Mello replied. "Though not in the way you mean."

"Well, you know you can call home whenever you like." She said, in what she must have thought was a comforting tone.

"Look, I only stapled the guy because he tried to put me and Near in different cabins." Mello explained, already sick of the conversation, the counselor, the camp, and the ridiculousy cheery office he was currently seated in. An understanding look tried to cross Ms. Shelley's face, and died there.

"Oh, I get it, you want to be in a cabin with your friend, because you're homesick!" She looked proud of herself.

"...Yeah, sure, lets go with that." Mello shrugged.

"Alright-y! I'll arrange it then, go run along Mello! And no more stapling people!" She sing-songed, and spun in her chair to pick up a phone.

Mello left the office feeling faintly disoriented.

"That was weird."

* * *

Near sat on his bed, one leg tucked beneath him and the other dangling off the side of the mattress. He was watching, with little interest, one of his roommates attempt to solve a Rubiks cube. The other two were unpacking, and carving something on one of the bedposts, respectively. Rubiks kid was failing, horribly, but Near wasn't tempted to assist him in any way. He was content to watch, note the mistakes in his mind, and mentally solve the puzzle again and again from each new problem the other boy created.

Near's gray-eyed stare did not go unnoticed, however, and the kid soon grew uncomfortable.

"Uh... can I help you?" He asked.

"No." Near replied simply.

"...Why are you staring at me?" He continued, shivering a little.

"I'm not." Near answered, no change in his expression whatsoever.

"Yeah, you are!" The kid protested, tossing his cube over his shoulder, where it bounced off his pillow and rolled onto his sheets, still unsolved.

"Actually, I was watching your Rubiks cube." Near said simply. "You're not very good at it." The kid stared, mouth open, for several minutes. And then, he started sniffling. Near blinked, wondering how anyone could be so sensitive. The boy actually started crying, and then he stood and raced out of the cabin, sobbing his head off. The other boys had ceased their activities to stare at Near.

"Dude, what'd you do?" One of them, almost as small as Near and sporting unflattering dirty-blond corkscrew curls, asked a tad scornfully.

"It would appear that I upset him." Near responded.

"And, what, you think that's funny?" The second, who was roughly the size and shape of a large house fan, questioned in an irritated tone, glaring at Near threateningly. None of them heard the cabin door open and shut again.

"No." Near said emotionlessly. Roomie Two bore down on him.

"Oh really? Cause you don't seem to feel bad about it." He grunted, attempting to look intimidating despite his scrawny body and oversized head. Before Near could answer, the other boy was slammed against the closest cabin wall, and held there by Mello.

"That's strange." Mello said conversationally. "I could have sworn you were just about to do something really stupid." The kid looked like he was about to protest, when Mello put his face very close to the boy's, teal eyes flashing dangerously. "But you're not. Are you." His grip on the boy's shoulder tightened painfully.

"N-no." The kid winced. "I wasn't gonna do anything."

"Damn straight." Mello dropped him, and plopped down on the bed next to Near, as though the situation had never taken place. "Hey, what's up?"

"That was uncalled for." Near pointed out.

"So?" Mello yanked a chocolate bar from his pocket and unwrapped it in one smooth motion.

"Simply making an observation."

"Who _are _you two?" The first kid, with the dirty blonde curls, interrupted.

"You first." Mello challenged.

"Um... I'm Jerry. He's Phil." Curls said.

"I'm your new Emperor, and this is my consort." Mello neatly broke off a piece of his chocolate with his teeth. Near sighed and rubbed his temples.

"Mello." He stated.

"What? It's true. Enough." Mello took another bite of his chocolate.

"So... you're... gay?" Phil asked slowly, a horrified look on his face.

"So... you're... pathetic?" Mello mocked. "No shit sherlock."

"Hey that's bad language! You can get naughty points for that!" Jerry protested. You could practically taste the incredulity suddenly in the air.

"This is going to be a very long month." Near sighed.

TBC...

A/N: I apologize, again, this time for the brevity of the chapter... I'm just having a bit of writer's block surrounding this story, and there are a bunch of others I want to put up right now as well. I promise that I'll make the next one longer though! Please don't lose faith in meeeee! Oh yeah... and I apologize for the lack of Matt in this chappie. I'll make up for that next time, too.


	3. Extracurricular Activities Part 1

A/N: And so, after a looooong interlude… I RETURN. And then promptly flop about for a few days instead of getting this update finished like I should've. I apologize. I was absent for quite some time due to reasons beyond my control, and as such have been unable to write chapters for my fics as I please. I'm sorry you all had to wait so long, and I hope that you, my readers, can forgive me and continue to enjoy this story.

**Extra Note:** SPOT THE HOUSE, M.D. REFERENCE! WIN A PRIZE!

Disclaimer: If I were to one day wake up to discover that I actually owned Death Note, I would explode in happiness. As I'm still in one piece, let it be assumed that such a joyous circumstance has yet to present itself. In other words: Nope, still don't own Death Note.

Chapter 3: Extracurricular Activities Part One

"Pay up." Matt demanded of Near with a toothy grin.

"I believe it is you who lost the bet." Near replied flatly. Matt blinked, staring.

"Uh… no. I bet that Mello would make five kids cry by the end of the day." The Gamer said slowly. "And obviously…" He let the sentence hang, the faint sound of sobbing still floating in the background.

"Obviously, he made seven children, one camp counselor, and one CIT burst into tears, respectively." Near listed. "You only bet on five." Matt's jaw dropped, and then he started laughing.

"Holy crap! Mello really has been a bad influence on you!" He snickered, nonetheless reaching into his pocket to produce the owed ten dollars. "You're turning into an _evil_ genius, Near." Wordlessly, Near took his winnings.

"What makes you think that's my fault?" Mello piped up from where he was lounging on his bed, lazily holding a melting chocolate bar above his mouth and letting it drip in. "I've been telling you for years that he's nearly as diabolical as we are. He just doesn't display it as often."

"I choose my moments." Near informed them, climbing onto the bed and lying back against Mello's knees. "The less trouble you get into, the more credible you are."

"And the less fun you have." Matt finished, a few giggles still erupting now and again. He could appreciate finely crafted manipulation when he was the victim of it. That was part of the effect of being Mello's BFF.

"Shouldn't you be in your own cabin? It is curfew." Near observed.

"Shouldn't the other guys in your cabin be here?" Matt countered.

"Mello locked them in the equipment storage cabin. I had absolutely nothing to do with it." Near responded.

"Nice, plausible deniability." Matt snorted. Near shrugged. Mello licked a misplaced drop of chocolate off his cheek, then balled up the empty tin foil and tossed it through the air. It bounced off the wall and landed neatly with its fellows in the trash bin. The blonde proceeded to stretch, dislodging Near, and yawn magnificently.

"Well, it's been a productive day. I suppose we can afford to actually sleep tonight." He announced.

"Three hours later than we're supposed to." Near curled into a ball against Mello's side.

"Naturally." The blonde replied. Matt shrugged, snapping shut his DS, which had been flashing a Game Over screen for the past few minutes anyway, and flopping onto one of the vacant beds. He kicked off his boots and hung his goggles from a bedpost.

"Don't do anything traumatizing without warning me." He called. Mello just laughed and flicked off the lamp on his bedside table, plunging the room into darkness.

* * *

"OK CAMPERS! Are you ready for a day of F-U-N!!!!?" Ms. Shelley screeched from her podium.

"YESSSS!!" Came the responding cry from all campers save the orphan trio.

"Alrighty-roo!" She beamed. Actually, from now on, unless specifically stated otherwise, just assume Ms. Shelley is beaming at all times. "Before we can get started on our first activity, has anyone seen Camper Jerry, Camper Phil, or Camper Archie?" She asked. Many heads shook. Three faces suddenly morphed into the very picture of innocence. "I guess we'll just have to start without them then. They'll sure be sorry when they see what they miss, won't they!!!!?" The woman used more exclamation marks than a speed-addicted eight year old.

"YESSSSSSS!!" The crowd replied.

"OH-KAY!!!! So first off kids, we're going to start the day off with some Touch Football!!!!" She cheered.

Dead silence for several minutes. Athletic children were not pleased with this, because they would not be allowed to tackle the shit out of everyone. Non-athletic children were not pleased with this because they knew the athletic children would eventually ignore the rules and tackle the shit out of them. Near was putting all his considerable intelligence to the problem of How the Hell to Get Out of This. Unfortunately, the only plans he could think of required Ms. Shelley to be at least marginally intelligent. Matt was surreptitiously sneaking away to, if nothing else, stow his techie gear lest it be smashed in the soon to ensue violence.

Mello, contrarily, had the most accurate reproduction of the Cheshire Cat's devilish smile on his face that anyone ever had seen in the history of the known universe.

A red sun would be rising on the morrow.

"OK KIDS!!!!!" Ms. Shelley appeared to be oblivious to the fact that the pause she had allowed for a response had not been filled. "LET'S GET STARTED!" She pulled a yellow football with a smiley face on it from beneath the podium. "FIRST WE'LL PICK CAPTAINS! RAISE YOUR HAND IF-" Mello's hand had shot into the air with the speed and force of a freight train the second the word 'Raise' had been spoken. "OK, looks like Camper Mello is First Captain!" She surveyed the dozen other hands that had shot up slightly later in the sentence.

Ms. Shelley thought. It was a long, arduous process. "Camper Mindi! You can be Second Captain!" She decided, choosing the tallest of the girls that had raised their hands. One male and one female captain seemed fair. Gender equality and all that.

It was a mystery how Ms. Shelley had managed to learn and memorize every child's name within the first two days. Matt's theory was that the learning and memorization of names was something she literally used three quarters of her brain on. That or she was some kind of alien experiment gone horrifically cheerful. Either way, he thought that she might actually be worth hiring some day for maybe a torture or public relations division of the Gaming Company he planned to build.

The way was lead to a playing field devoid of goal posts or yard lines. In fact the only thing marking the end zones were cardboard signs nailed to two-by-fours reading 'You made it!' and featuring yet more bug-eyed smiley faces, stars, hearts, and handprints. Mello had a sneaking suspicion suddenly that all the signs in Camp Sunshine were both designed and made by Ms. Shelley herself.

"Alright Campers! Line up so that you can be chosen for teams!" Ms. Shelley instructed brightly. "Camper Mindi will be Captain of the Pink Hearts, and Camper Mello will be Captain of the-"

"I swear to God, woman, that if you say anything containing the words 'heart', 'smiley', 'purple', 'love', or 'kitten', I will dismember you right now and damn the consequences." Mello interrupted.

"Blue Stars!" Ms. Shelley finished, her selective hearing apparently kicking into action once more.

"…Alright, I can accept that." Mello conceded grudgingly. Another Camp Counselor, (not the one whose ear Mello had stapled to a table, that man had actually been sent home to heal and perhaps see a therapist if the insurance company decided he was covered) approached carrying a plastic tub full of blue and red jerseys and leading the very dazed-looking Jerry, Phil, and Archie.

"I found these three locked in the Equipment Storage Cabin." The Counselor, whose nametag read 'Peppy Perry!' explained. He didn't look particularly peppy. Quite the opposite.

"_There_ you are, Campers!" Ms. Shelley exclaimed. "Lucky you!!! You're just in time!!!"

"They say they were locked in all night." Perry continued, apparently accustomed to his boss'… um… uniqueness.

"Y-yeah!" Jerry was the first to snap back to life. "By that guy!" He pointed straight at Mello.

"Camper Mello, what do you have to say for yourself?" 'Peppy' Perry asked. Mello shrugged.

"Builds character." The blonde said flatly. "Besides, they aren't _hurt_, are they?" Perry suddenly recognized Mello from the 'Incident with the Stapler.'

"…Fair enough." The man dropped the tub on the ground and walked off with the quick but controlled steps of a person well aware that there are dangerous, unstable people behind him who could possibly be set off by sudden movements.

"OK, are we all ready then!?" Ms. Shelley called.

"YES!" The children replied, surprised into an auto-pilot answer.

"Let's get started then!!! If you are chosen by Captain Mello, take a blue jersey from the tub and stand behind your captain. If you are chosen by Captain Mindi, take a pink jersey!!! Understaaaaand!!!?" Ms. Shelley questioned. One camper raised her hand. "Yes, Camper Susan?"

"Um, those are red… not pink…" Susan, a shy girl bearing a remarkable resemblance to a Strawberry Shortcake doll pointed out. And clearly, she would know. The girl was wearing enough pink to feminize an entire Sports Bar. She was a Pink Professional. An expert consultant on the subject of Pink.

"Ohhh, you're right." Ms. Shelley, for the very first time in a long time, looked distressed. How she managed to look distressed while still flashing a thousand megawatt smile has yet to be determined by humankind. Mello slapped a hand to his forehead. His sentiments were shared by nearly every possessor of significant testosterone levels on the field. "I know!" Ms. Shelley shouted a few tense moments later, her distress vanished. "Let's just use our IMAGINATIONS!!!!!!!!"

"…I think I'm gonna be sick…" Mello stated.

"OK Captains! Play rock, paper, water to see who gets to pick first!" Ms. Shelley continued as though the moment had never happened.

"Uh… don't you mean rock, paper, scissors?" Matt asked. Ms. Shelley shook her head emphatically.

"Oh no! Scissors are dangerous!" She explained.

"…I'm not doing this. She can go first." Mello declared.

"Why Camper Mello! That's very kind of you!"

"Mention it again and I'll put something unpleasant in your coffee tomorrow morning." Mello promised darkly. Evidently it was a day for firsts because, for just a moment, Ms. Shelley's perpetual broad grin wavered.

There are some subjects that are off-limits to attack for even the dullest, thickest, most smiley-face oriented Camp Counselor brains. Coffee was one of them.

The seed of fear had been planted.

"I give her a week, tops." Matt whispered into Near's ear, the albino was inclined to agree with him. Mello could smell a weakness better than your average bloodhound.

"Lizzie!" Mindi called, a girl with tight curls and badly applied lipstick who smelled strongly of cherry body spray squealed, snatched a red jersey, and scurried behind Mindi.

"Near!" Mello bellowed. Near shuffled forward to take a blue jersey and stand behind Mello, twirling a lock of soft white hair.

"DUDE!" Matt protested loudly. "What the hell happened to 'Bros before Ho's!?'"

"Shut up, man! You know Near's gonna get pummeled if he's not on my team!" Mello hollered back. Matt paused.

"Yeah, well, I guess that's true…" He grumbled.

"Thank you both for that overwhelming show of confidence." Near drawled. Mello and Matt rolled their eyes.

"Meredith!" Mindi shouted next, apparently dead-set on having as many of her own gender on her team as possible.

"Matt!" Mello called predictably.

"Cara!"

"…You with the stick people on your shirt!"

"Lindsey!"

"Headband guy!" "It's a sweatband!" "Whatever!"

"Justine!"

"People actually name their daughters that?" "Mello…" "Oh, right. You in the polka dots! …Dude what is up with that, anyway?"

"Lauren!"

"Chick with the seashell necklace!"

And on it went. Mindi, like most of the children, had apparently been attending Camp Sunshine for a few years now, and so was well acquainted with the majority of the other children. Mello, who didn't care that much about actually getting to know others even when he had spent more than two days in the same place with them, was not. Hence the contrast in player-choosing vocalizations.

When the teams were established, they quickly formed into defensive huddles. Although Mindi's looked less like a huddle and more like a preppy clique gossiping in a middle-school cafeteria without tables or chairs. Or walls. Or a ceiling. You get the idea.

"Alright." Mello said. "Here's how we're going to thrash them-"

"Um… but…" The guy in polka dots interrupted.

"_What_." Mello hissed. Polka Dots was briefly struck dumb.

"…I… it's just, most of them are _girls_." He pointed out. "Shouldn't we like… go easy on them?" This earned him a glare from the few females on Mello's team.

"All's fair in love and war." Mello replied. Polka Dots looked confused.

"But this isn't either of tho-" He never stood a chance.

"Like Hell it isn't!" Mello erupted. "This _is_ War!" The huddle wavered as everyone in it except Matt and Near took a step back. Matt rolled his eyes. Near sighed resignedly.

Roughly twelve minutes of explaining a complex game plan to nearly thirteen bewildered, slightly spooked, children of less than half the intelligence of any of the Wammy Kids, and the game was ready to begin. Finally.

The two teams stood facing one another. If ever an Epic Showdown were to take place on such a lame field, this was it. The mood was slightly ruined by the fact that Mindi kept breaking the staredown Mello was attempting to initiate in order to make sure that her nail polish wasn't chipped and that her ponytail was tight enough.

"Hey!" Matt called, abruptly gaining the attention of the other team. He used a smirk he'd learned from Mello and practiced for years on perfecting.

"Y'all ready for this?" He asked, pulling his goggles down over his eyes. Matt was a goofy, easygoing, good-humored guy. But you didn't get to be best friends with Mello for over ten years without some of that Intimidation rubbing off on you. And, nerdy semi-cheesy pop culture references aside, Matt was looking pretty badass at the moment.

The play began. The 'Pink Hearts' had the ball.

Lindsey was facedown in the dirt and relieved of said ball by Amber (aka 'Chick with the seashell necklace') about two seconds into the play. Mello had prepared his team well.

Ms. Shelley blew into a whistle just barely within the human spectrum for hearing with the windpower of a thirteen-year-old tuba player. Translation: It was loud. Painfully loud. And shriller than nails on a chalkboard.

"Noooo tackling! This is _Touch_ Football!" She explained good-naturedly.

"Sorry. Tripped." Amber grinned innocently.

Lindsey was livid, "Like hell you did you cutthroat bi-"

"Oh, well that's alright then! Keep going, and beeee careful!" Ms. Shelley trilled and bounced back to the sidelines.

Needless to say, that was not the last 'accident' of the day.

By the end of the game, which Mello's team had completely and utterly dominated, no contest, three of the opposing team were crying, two had bloody noses, one had bruised knuckles, all had bruises, one had a twisted ankle, three were covered in dirt and grass stains, and over _forty-two_ nails had been cracked or broken.

It was a new record.

For Mello's team, the grass-stains were almost as numerous, and half the members had accumulated at least three 'naughty-points', but otherwise the injuries were minimal at worst.

And so it was that the campers, many dejected, many victorious, and one extremely exasperated (no prizes for guessing which. –coughNearcough-) left the playing field for the lunch room.

The Lesson here? Never make a preppy girl and a competitive maniacal genius captains of opposing Touch Football teams.

TBC…

A/N: Speaking as a girl who has wreaked terror and havoc upon many a 'Touch' Football game… I hope that was as much fun for you to read as it was for me to write.

Stay tuned for the next chapter, a Lunchtime to Be Remembered! Coming soon! (No, seriously this time.)


	4. Madness? No

A/N: Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies. Or very few ones, anyway. Congratulations to OutcastToReality, Yami-no-Hikari-7, and oOA Cry In The NightOo for correctly identifying the House reference in the previous chapter! The rest of you... no more guesses, obviously. Too late. Game over. Thanks for playing. I STILL LOVE YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING THO~!!! OH LAWD ILU ALL SO MUCHIES!

Ok so I was just being sarcastic about there being a prize… -waits patiently to be lynched- Uhhh… consider the new chapter your prize! 8D –shot repeatedly- Omg I suck so much… -bleeds-

Disclaimer: Still whole. Still not owning Death Note.

Chapter 4: Madness? No…

"What the hell is this?" Mello demanded of… well, anyone within hearing range apparently.

"I believe the lunch board states it to be 'beanie weenies'." Near replied in his usual emotionless tone, pointing up at the chalk board above the food pick-up station that did indeed proclaim the day's meal to be 'Boisterous Beanie Weenies! 8D'. Although the pale boy saw no difference between 'Boisterous Beanie Weenies! 8D' and 'beanie weenies' whatsoever. This is probably because there wasn't one. Unless you counted quality.

"It doesn't look like… that." Mello grumbled as they found places at one of the tables in the rustic-themed mess hall. The blonde could not bring himself to use a cutesy rhyme for the name of a food. "It looks toes in ketchup."

"_Pases_ aaighf." Said Matt, wet flecks of 'Boisterous Beanie Weenies! 8D' flying out of his full mouth and causing the unfortunate black-haired boy sitting across from him to shriek and abandon his seat to avoid the gross little missiles. Translated into the speech of people without full mouths, Matt's statement was "_Tastes_ alright."

"Ew." Mello replied simply, raising his eyebrows at his friend exasperatedly.

"Well, if Matt's willing to eat it than it cannot be intolerable." Near reasoned, carefully scooping a weenie onto his spork and lifting it towards his mouth.

"Near, you would be _shocked_ at what Matt is willing to eat." Mello warned. The spork paused, indecisively.

Matt began, "Wuh ehf oohr 'ot oong-"

"FOR GOD'S SAKE, SWALLOW!" Mello clapped a hand to his forehead, his patience shredded. Matt swallowed.

"Well if you're not going to eat it," He continued unaffected, "Can I have yours?" Mello started shoving his tray at Matt when Near spoke again.

"We cannot go without food our entire time here." He pointed out. It was Mello's turn to pause.

"…I guess you're right." He sighed, ignoring Matt's crestfallen face as he pulled his tray back and viciously speared a weenie. Hesitantly, after a rather thorough examination, Near placed one of the weenies in his mouth.

"…"

"…Well…?" Mello asked anxiously, ready to perform the Heimlich at a moment's notice. Near chewed thoughtfully.

"Eht's 'ot oh-"

"NOT YOU TOO!" Mello wailed. "Dammit Matt! Look what you've done now! You've infected Near!" Near gulped.

"My apologies, I assumed you wished for a speedy diagnosis." He drawled, one corner of his lips twitching ever so slightly. "As I was saying, it's not so bad."

"…You enjoyed that you bastard." Mello growled.

"Yes." Near said with a gentle nod, allowing one eyebrow to quirk up cheekily. Mello's gaze narrowed, his eyes flashing with something that was decidedly not anger. He seized Near's sleeve and began tugging the boy towards the door.

"There's always dinner." The blonde stated, needlessly since Near was far from protesting.

"Uh… where are they going?" Amber asked, leaning over to Matt.

"I don't know, and I don't want to, and if you have any sense at all neither do you." Matt replied, pulling Mello and Near's abandoned trays towards him. No sense wasting palatable food.

* * *

"A-ah, Mello…" Near managed between feverish kisses.

"Shut up, I can't kiss you, get your shirt off, _and_ talk at the same time." Mello growled back, contradicting himself by doing just that.

"Are you…" Near paused as he wound a lock of blonde hair around his finger and felt the blonde's teeth scrape against his bottom lip. "Sure we should-mmm… that was nice…"

"Your nose is a little sunburned. It's cute." Mello announced, licking the mentioned body part as he worked at his belt with one hand and pulled Near's body into him with the other. Near winced slightly, the saliva stinging the reddened skin, but didn't object. "What were you saying?"

"Oh, just wondering if it was alright to leave Matt alone." Near replied, a little blurrily. Mello scoffed and kissed him again.

"'Eah ee 'as owr-"

"Hypocrite." Near pointed out, pulling away for a moment. Mello stared for a moment before catching the joke.

"Oh shut up. It's alright." He said, pushing the boy down onto the bed and leaning over to catch the faintly smirking mouth with his own.

* * *

It was not alright to leave Matt alone. Especially not in a place full of children that _weren't_ at least close to the redhead intelligence-wise.

"You are shooooo aweshum… you're like… aweshum and shtuff…" Lindsay giggled, then burped, lifted a hand to her mouth looking scandalized, then giggled again.

"Ya I know. I'm like… the aweshum KING!" Matt declared, pointing at the ceiling dramatically. Or where he thought the ceiling was, anyway. May have been the wall. Or the floor.

"Toooootallleeeeee." Amber agreed, lying on the ground and hiccupping. The lunch lady had disappeared into a catacomb behind the kitchen, aka her office. The two counselors in charge of lunch time surveillance had panicked and dashed off to find the camp nurse and Ms. Shelley, respectively.

Mello and Near came back in about half an hour too late. The few children who weren't lounging around or wandering shakily were huddled in a corner looking dazed and/or confused.

"…Matt." Mello said icily once he had located the redhead. "What the hell is going on?"

"MELLY!" Matt shouted, leaping backwards only to trip and land on his rump. Hard. Clearly he'd only just realized the blonde had returned.

"Matt… You appear to be displaying the symptoms of extreme intoxication." Near observed wryly.

"NO! No…" Matt insisted, forcing his voice to become serious. "I swear ta drunk, I'm not God." He told them gravely. "Wait… that waz wrong…"

"Where did you even _get_ alcohol?" Mello asked incredulously. Matt stared dumbly for a moment, then his face screwed up as though he were deciphering hieroglyphics. Mello grabbed his friend by the shoulders. "Matt, _where did you get the alcohol!?"_ Matt's face broke out into a goofy grin.

"Ohhhhh!" He exclaimed. "…I brought it. Roger never checked the bagsh." Mello released Matt's shoulders, the gamer pinwheeled his arms for a few seconds before falling back again, his head hitting the floorboards with a light 'Tunk!'

"I'm literally not sure whether to be impressed or disgusted." Mello shook his head, an affectionate smile climbing onto his face. A few feet away, Mindi threw up on Justine.

"…I have settled upon disgusted." Near replied. Mello just laughed as the camp counselors returned breathlessly, towing a doubting nurse and the ever-unpredictable Ms. Shelley…

TBC…

A/N: THIS. IS. SUNSHINE! –Roars and kicks Ms. Shelley into bottomless pit- …Ooops… -looks over edge and sees Ms. Shelley climbing back up like that chick from the Ring- OH FUCK! –Runs-

Revieeeeewwwwww!! Save me from The Shelley!


	5. An Interlude, of Sorts

A/N: Sometimes, a part of me wonders if Christmas is really worth all the hassle and trouble that comes during this season… And then the rest of me beats that part to death with sledgehammers and the moment ends. Thank you and Merry Christmas to all my amazing reviewers! You people keep me updating (even if I'm a tad slower than you deserve.) I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Death Note. It's on my Christmas List. 8D

Chapter 5: An Interlude, of Sorts

It was a slow, tiresome day. A bleak, gray day. A 'we-know-our-plan-already-and-now-we-just-have-to-wait-and-there's-nothing-left-to-do' day.

In short, it was a boring day.

And Rester was bored.

Gevanni was still spying on that Mikami Teru guy, so at least the jerk had something to do, even if the fake Kira's movements were methodical to the point of practically being a robot. Still, it had to be better than being cooped up here at HQ. Halle got to play bodyguard for Takada, the Kira spokesperson, which considering the anchorwoman's Celebrity status was bound to come with all sorts of perks.

Which left Rester, stuck here, in the hotel, with Near. Brilliant, _creepy_ little Near, who had a way of making you feel less confident in your own intelligence simply by being in the room. Currently the young man, who looked disturbingly like a young boy, was building an elaborate Lego city all around himself.

He entertained himself for a while just by watching; it was truly amazing the speed and efficiency Near had in his construction. But after a while it began to get tiring just to look at, so Rester turned back to the computers. Bored. Bored. So bored. He decided it could hurt to check through some old files. If only for something to do.

Rester failed to notice that the computer he happened to be facing was Near's personal laptop, and Near, engrossed in his own little world also completely failed to take note of this.

It took only a few seconds of trolling through files for Rester to realize that many of them did not appear to pertain to the Kira case at all. Or any case, for that matter.

No, what he had inadvertently stumbled upon… appeared to be Near's _diary_. He should have stopped then. He should have closed out, turned off the computer, and gone to get some coffee. He should have… but he didn't. The document currently pulled him in, and he found himself lost in the words…

* * *

Matt can be quite irrational, at times. He is often foolhardy in his behavior, a side-effect I presume is a resultant of too much time spent with Mello. If such theory is accurate, then I suppose that it does not bode well for me.

At lunch, Matt saw fit to spike the juice, a rather clichéd and pointless endeavor, although I must admit that the little experience I have had with practical jokes did prove amusing, if nothing else.

As one can easily deduce this action lead to much chaos and confusion, particularly on the part of the Camp Counselors. Honestly I cannot say whether I pity these people or am simply annoyed with them. It is unfair of me, it is not their fault that I must waste time in this place, but I still cannot help the ire that springs up at their patronizing attitudes.

Particularly that Ms. Shelley, the Head Counselor. She, I would say, is at the very least moderately unstable, and the odds are looking favorable that she should not, in fact, be in charge of children of any age. But I digress.

Upon her arrival at the scene, and witnessing the mess that had been created at Matt's hands, she simply smiled… or rather, did not cease smiling as she had been doing so without pause apparently since long before we three had the misfortune to set eyes upon her. Mello, reading over my shoulder, comments that her face may actually have frozen this way. I observe that this is not physically or biologically possible. Mello insists that it is merely a figure of speech. I inform him that he should speak plainly, and say what he means, as that is the most efficient form of communication. I also mention that it is rude to read over people's shoulders. A 'wrestling' match ensues. I lose. As usual. However Mello appears to have forgotten, or overlooked, the cause of the… scuffle. As usual.

As I was saying, Ms. Shelley failed to show any sign of real distress, instead instructing everyone to adjourn to their cabins and take a long… nap. This is not verbatim. I find that I cannot bring myself to quote anything this woman says in the words she uses.

So now it is that I, Mello, and our rather unfortunate roommates find ourselves confined to the cabin. This is not entirely disadvantageous, since it spares us from further 'camp activities' as well as interaction with any of the employees, and gives me time to update my journal. Mello, still not heeding my earlier advice to cease reading over my shoulder, adds that since the other inhabitants of our cabin are essentially comatose from alcohol consumption, we're practically alone together.

I choose not to argue this point, since I tend to agree that said fact is a positive observation.

…

It has been several hours, Mello and I even slept for some of them. Our roommates woke up with, quote "God-awful headaches" unquote, and swiftly departed to visit the nurse.

Upon return, they informed us that activities would resume the following day, since it had grown 'too late' to partake in any more. I pointed out that this was rather ridiculous, since we had all been asleep far too long to gain any further rest without prior exertion.

Our roommates proceed to stare blankly at me. Mello finds this funny, as he bursts out laughing. Our roommates become indignant, and voice said indignancy. Mello scowls at them, his expression implying future violence, as only he can deliver. I am mildly aroused. The roommates are cowed, and retreat to their beds where eventually they fall asleep once more.

Mello falls asleep again some time later, after suitable exertion has been had. Thank whatever deity exists for the narcotic effect of pain pills, as otherwise the likelihood of being interrupted should have been too great. I go now to retire myself, having suitably completed my entry for today. Good night.

–Near

* * *

Rester stared at the screen for a few moments, silent. Speechless, actually, if you want to get specific. He glanced over at the pale boy on the rug, still fiddling with his Legos. He looked back at the screen. He repeated this action several times.

Finally, the FBI agent closed the window, shut down the computer, and pushed away from the desk. All without speaking or, oddly enough, blinking. He stared at the computer. It did nothing. He stared at Near. The young genius, feeling eyes on him, turned to return the stare.

There was silence.

"What is it, Rester?" Near asked. Rester blinked. He opened his mouth. He shut it again. Near just kept staring expectantly.

"…Nothing." Rester said finally. Near raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to go get some coffee."

"…Alright." Near shrugged, turning back to his playthings. If Rester didn't feel like talking, that was that. He could always worm it out of him later.

A few minutes later, Rester remembered he'd just said he was going to get coffee, stood, and left the room.

Near continued playing with his Legos.

Years ago, in a happier past, two boys slept, one curled against the other, in a cabin. Each had a gentle, secretive smile on their face.

TBC…

A/N: WTF she tried something NEW!?!? DDD8

Lol, forgive me, please, I enjoying playing around at times. And Rester's just so easy to poke fun at. xDDD

Writing from Near's point of view… wow, that was… interesting.

I hope you all liked it, unorthodox as it was. The style will be back to normal next chapter, I promise! And it'll be longer, too! Review please! Feed my insatiable hunger!


End file.
